Worry Worry Worry Worrywart

I worry! I come from a family who worries. It must be in my blood. Why do we worry? It doesn’t do any good but I just can’t help it.

I worry about all sorts of things.

I worry about my husband during his 3 hour drive to and from Ventura.

I worry about having cavities each time I go to the dentist.

I worry about my cat when I can’t find her in the morning.

I worry about the house when it’s messy and I can’t clean it.

I worry about time. It’s going too fast or not fast enough.

I worry about leaving hot electrical items on when I leave the house.

I used to worry about the kids at my school when I couldn’t make it into work.

I worry about clowns. Every one should worry about clowns!

I worried a lot in my childhood. Is that where it came from? Is worry forever etched in my brain? Is there a cure? My dad and my husband say all I have to do isΒ stop! Stop worrying…Easy as that according to them. So over the past few years that is what I have tried to do. When I start worrying I tell myself to stop. It sort of works and I must say I have gotten better about not worrying as much..But…there had to be a but.. Trying to get pregnant brought up all sorts of things to worry about. I think women who struggle to get pregnant as opposed to women who don’t, worry a lot more. I mean they have more to worry about don’t they? Are the stimulation meds going to work? Will they have eggs to be fertilized? If so, will they fertilize and grow into grade A embryos and be ready to transfer? Will the embryos implant? If they don’t get a positive result then what? If they do get a positive test will their beta number double at each blood test? Will they see an egg sac and a heart beat at the first ultrasound. You see it’s always something when you go through a fertility treatment. Then there is the pregnancy…

I have tried my best to not over do the worrying during this pregnancy. It’s been hard. Even harder since my stay in the hospital. I worry about the medication I am on, the contractions I have and most of all my baby. It seems to me that her movements have decreased in the last few days. WORRY WORRY WORRY. I do the kick counts like I have been told and although she still moves enough, it’s different. WORRY WORRY. Her movements aren’t as frequent throughout the day, her kicks don’t pack the punch they used to..and on and on. I lose sleep. Do I go to Labor and Delivery just to make sure? Do I just suck it up and wait until my Dr. Appt on Wednesday? I worry about not trusting my instincts..and I worry about being readmitted into the hospital.

There is the famous saying ” Expect the worst, hope for the best”. Isn’t that the same thing as worrying? If I expect to receive bad news at my Doctors appointment how am I not supposed to worry about it? Am I just crazy? Can normal people expect awful things to happen and not worry about them?

So my question is… Does anything warrant worry?

4 thoughts on “Worry Worry Worry Worrywart

  1. I’m a worrier too and hate it! On one hand, it gets worse once the baby is here, but on the other, it is better because your life is filled with so much joy. And, don’t be so hard on yourself – you have had plenty to worry about during this journey and more than most mamas. One last thing: I know (from experience) that it is hard to trust your instincts when you are a worrier because you think you might be overreacting. But I say always trust your instincts. Especially your mama instincts. Sending you and Baby K and Shane positive thoughts!

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