FET

9 Weeks

~ Girlmom ~ 1 Comment

9 weeks, wasn’t that a racy movie with Kim Basinger? A lifetime  ago I was meant to watch that movie on a very unsuccessful first date. Hashtag awkward.

I haven’t had much to write about since I have been housebound for what seems like forever. Christmas was nice but it always seems overwhelming, maybe it’s because I haven’t been doing much other than sitting at home. I think a quiet Christmas in Hawaii or Mexico sounds pretty good, although getting there with a 3 year old and a baby doesn’t seem so great. Somehow I think sitting with my feet in the water with an adult beverage may help ease that pain. Shane’s birthday always gets lost in the holiday so it would be nice to have a low key Christmas and focus more on his birthday, although he says he doesn’t really care. Anyhow we have 363 days to plan something or nothing.

Kaili seemed to enjoy herself and is getting good use out of her new toys.

photo photo

My Tuesday ultrasound was rescheduled twice. I have still been spotting/lightly bleeding on and off, I finally head to the Dr. in a few hours where hopefully they can assure me that everything looks fine. I will also have my blood drawn and if my levels look good I can stop all my meds, hell to the yes! 

Just Words

~ Girlmom ~ 1 Comment

I am not sure if the B6 is actually helping with the nausea but it is giving me some much needed energy. I cheated and had a small cup of coffee the other day and oh boy did it taste good and I felt like a champ most of the day, in between the moments of wanting to barf. Tea has been hard to drink so I am counting down the days until I allow myself a morning cup of joe.

I thought things were beginning to look up, emotionally I have been feeling a lot better and physically I hadn’t had any cramping or spotting but unfortunately it started up again this morning. I didn’t think I was doing too much but I guess I was…aggravating, depressing, I can think of a lot of words to describe my feelings. My transfer was November 13th so basically I have been on moderate bed rest for over a month. Who saw this coming?

I will leave you with a few Kaili pictures because I’ve got a date with Top Chef.

photo photo

No Fun At 7 Weeks

~ Girlmom ~ 5 Comments

The past few days have been rough for me. Not only have I had morning sickness most of the day but the cramping and spotting comes back when I am on my feet too much. And I am not talking longs walks, or an hour at the gym, I am talking just getting up and down waiting on Kaili. Everyday errands and what not seem to be too much for my body to handle. The nurse said I have to put myself on bed rest once this happens. Pity party for one please.  I was really hoping to be able to work out through this pregnancy, it makes me feel low, anxious and irritable that I can’t do much and I am only 7 weeks. When does this get better?

Saturday was a hard one, I couldn’t stop dwelling on the fact that maybe my body isn’t meant for this whole pregnancy thing. I can’t keep up with Kaili who wants to go to SeaWorld and the park and that makes me feel so guilty. I have to get myself through the next week without Shane then he is home for 2 weeks, thankfully.

After feeling sorry for myself, I got up and made these Korean BBQ lettuce wraps. Then we drove down the street to check out some super duper Christmas lights, Kaili really got a kick out of it.

photo 1 photo 2 photo 3

On a positive note, I’ve read that B6 can help with nausea so I will be heading out to grab a bottle of vitamins and the weather is supposed to be gorgeous for a few days. Maybe I can come out of this week with a tan?

What A Difference

~ Girlmom ~ 5 Comments

What a difference 5 days makes. Here is my ultrasound picture from Friday.

6 weeks
6 weeks

Here is my ultrasound picture from yesterday.

6 weeks 5 days
6 weeks 5 days

We have a fetus and it has a heartbeat.

You can all rest easy now.

Phew is all I have to say. Now I just have to get past the first trimester right? I am still on restrictions with no end date, probably until my OB gives me the O.K.

I continue all my meds until 9 weeks and I know there is no way that I have enough here at home to get me through the next 3 weeks so you know what that means… $$$ Cha-Ching!!

My next and probably last appointment with Reproductive Partners is on Christmas Eve and unfortunately it won’t be with Dr. Garzo, sigh. But on the up side so far there is no sign of a subchorionic tear and hopefully there will be no sign of one. Can I get an AMEN?

Alright friends we did it. Thank you for all your support, only 34 weeks and 1 day to go. Well probably not even that long since I will be having a C-section. Hmm that makes her <—-{see what I did there? It just came out that way} August due date a July due date. What star sign would that be?

Thoughts at 6 Weeks

~ Girlmom ~ 2 Comments

Did I tell you that someone called me a “fertile myrtle” after I told them the FET worked? That stuck with me all day. 6 years of trying to get pregnant the “old fashioned” way and I have never even had a hint of a late period. I think it’s funny how peoples views can be so skewed if they don’t know the whole story.

Last week I started having some cramping along with spotting. I called the nurse and she assured me it was completely normal, I won’t lie it was scary. This continued for a few days, Thursday night being the worst but knowing I had my ultrasound Friday was keeping me sane.

Since I blogged through my pregnancy with Kaili I have been able to go back and compare dates and symptoms. I thought this would be a good thing but maybe it’s not.

I forgot when I made my ultrasound and blood draw for Friday that it was going to be with another doctor, Garzo was out of town. The first thing he asked me was how I was feeling and I told him about the cramping and spotting. Once he was preforming the ultrasound he asked me if I have ever miscarried before. That question put a bad tone to my whole day. He showed us the gestational sac but said it was a few days too early to see the fetus. I know it’s not too early because at my 6 week appt. with Kaili we saw the fetus and her heartbeat. I was in a fog the rest of the morning. Thinking back on everything, questioning why, and quite honestly freaking out. They scheduled my next ultrasound for Friday aka 7 weeks. I called the office back a few hours later asking if I could come in earlier, since the doctor said a heartbeat should be detected at 6 weeks 3 days, I didn’t want to drive myself crazy for another week.

I do know 6 weeks can be too early and I do know cramping and spotting can be normal and that my progesterone level being low can also be normal but it can also not be normal. I went into this expecting the worst, hoping for the best. After having a serious one on one talk with myself, I do think everything is fine. My pregnancy symptoms are strong, I have the nose of a bloodhound that can sniff out last nights meal on a stranger walking past me, I have days where I feel like I have narcolepsy and could fall asleep standing up and I have been nauseous  at the strangest of times mostly at 1-3 A.m. I am sure everything is just fine . This process is hard, emotional, frustrating and stressful.
I have been put on modified bed rest until a heartbeat is detected, my next ultrasound is Wednesday. 

Until then, go Hawks! #louder

Do You Want to Know What I Know?

~ Girlmom ~ 5 Comments

My last post I told y’all that I wasn’t having any real pregnancy symptoms and I had no idea if I was pregnant or not. That all changed Friday. All of the sudden I was really thirsty and really tired, I think I fell asleep before 8. That is when I thought, “ya, I am pregnant”.

My skin is breaking out like I am 14 years old and I am itchy all over. Also my dreams have taken a strange and vivid turn to the dark side.

photo

Sunday morning I went for my BETA, being one of the only people in the entire building I was in and out. 2 1/2 hours later my nurse called.

“You are pregnant!”

“Awesome”. “What is my BETA?”

“798”.

“Holy shit that is high!”

My BETA with K was 350 and I thought that was high but that was nothing. Let’s hope that assisted hatching didn’t give us an extra surprise baby, just one very healthy pregnancy. Today I am 4 weeks, 3 days pregnant with an EDD {estimated due date} of August 1, 2014.

photo 2

My estrogen and Progesterone levels came back as well. My doses will stay the same but on top of those I will add 2 Progesterone suppositories a day. My next appointment is in December when I will have my first ultrasound to make sure everything is as it should be.

Thanks for all the well wishes. Let’s hope the journey is smooth.

Excuse me now, I need a nap.

photo 1

Get Busy

~ Girlmom ~ 5 Comments

I have had people ask me if I feel pregnant. Nope, not at all. Other than some period like cramping on and off the past 9 days all I have felt are cold symptoms. Yesterday I fought with myself about buying a HPT { home pregnancy test } I believe HCG can be detected in a HPT {home pregnancy test} around 7 days post transfer. I just want to know, you know? But I decided not to…here is why.

Back in ’09 right after we had our first IUI {Intrauterine insemination} I bought a bag load of HPT’s from the dollar store.

Who buys HPT’s from the dollar store?

This girl. When you are taking a test 10 times or so a month for month after month, that shit adds up. The dollar store is the way to go, and yes they are accurate.

I packed a bunch of tests and Shane and I headed out on a trip, I tested everyday. Negative, negative negative. Once we got back from our trip and I was getting ready for work it dawned on me my period hadn’t come. My cycles were very regular, so on the way to work I grabbed one more HPT. What do you know, it was  positive. I was stunned, to say the least.  My nurse told me to come  in later that day for a blood test. The test resulted in a low BETA HCG levels. They tried to encourage me telling me it doesn’t always matter the number but they do want to see it double every 24 hours. I went back in the next morning and sadly it didn’t double, not even close.  The inevitable was going to happen and there was nothing I could do but wait it out.

That is why I talked myself out of taking a test yesterday. Sure it could tell me that I am pregnant but that really doesn’t mean much. All it does is gets your hopes up a few days before you find out the whole story.

Needless to say the days seem to be crawling by, I just want to know my fate.

On the positive side, I cut out caffeine cold turkey and haven’t had a problem at all. Last time I had horrible headaches and I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of caffeine or the cocktail of meds, now I am pretty sure it was the meds. Thankfully.

I have 48 more hours until my blood test and there is rain in the forecast. Need to get busy being busy.

IMG_1514

48 Hours

~ Girlmom ~ 1 Comment

Catchy title, I know.

Bed rest, possibly two of the most dreaded words. EVER. Anyone who says they would love to be on bed rest, clearly has never been on bed rest.

Months of bed rest was hard without a child, 48 hours of bed rest with a child is just as hard. Not just for me but for her too. She doesn’t understand why I can’t get up. She doesn’t understand why she can’t jump on me. It’s hard for both of us.

She kept me company
She kept me company

She fell out of her  bed the other night for the first time. A loud thud followed by crying, I couldn’t help but jump up and go to her. Shane calmed her down and surprisingly she went right back to sleep.

That shit was scary.

Once the long 48 hours were over I happily took a shower then planted myself back on the couch. Trying to stay off my feet unless necessary makes for a very low key couple of days. A trip to the store, a walk, baking and art with the kid about wraps up our weekend.

IMG_1446

Get it girl.
Get it girl.

IMG_1453 IMG_1465

I am trying my hardest to stay out of my head. Since I have been through the dreaded 2 week wait many a times before, it’s hard not to read into any twinge or non twinge for that matter. I know each time is different but with each day that goes by I get more concerned that this round didn’t take.I have to stop myself and think positive. I also caught a cold, no medicine and no caffeine is a bad combination.

6 more days of waiting.

worry

A Little Bit Pregnant….Again.

~ Girlmom ~ Leave a comment

I want to say thank you for all the well wishes from you guys. The transfer went just as I expected it to, smooth and quick.

We arrived at the office at 10:00 and sat around drinking my water until the embryologist came to get us. She showed us our Grade A free range embryo. She said it thawed just fine and we were ready to rock n roll.

I took my valium and then into the procedure room we went to got ready. 

To do the ditty. Just kidding.

Once things were in place, the embryologist wheeled in our future child and Dr. Garzo got to work, not 10 uncomfortable  minutes later he was done and I was officially a little bit pregnant.

Wham bam thank ya ma’am.

I continued to lay down for 30 minutes and then got my discharge info and was wheeled down to the car.

I spent the afternoon napping and reading. Besides the grogginess from the valium I feel just fine. Although once I started to get hungry, Shane was on the phone with work. I then realized I should have planned on stocking up my bedside drawer with snacks.

I must stay on the bed or the couch until Friday night/Saturday morning. Saturday I can return to my normal routine with some limitations, no lifting Kaili and no physical activity other than walking. This will continue until we hear a heartbeat or I get a negative pregnancy test.

One Last Day

~ Girlmom ~ 2 Comments

Remember when I got my bag of goodies last week? Needles, Progesterone, alcohol swabs?

I was dreading, no seriously dreading the first injection. But, it wasn’t bad. At all.

Shane has been giving me them since Friday and he has gotten really good at it, I don’t feel a thing.

Then Monday rolled around and I couldn’t shake the fact that I was going to have to give myself the shot. I so over reacted, imagine that. I mean there is nothing fun with jabbing yourself with a big ass needle but it’s totally doable, I didn’t faint, cry or even whimper. Winning! The worst part is the the aftermath. I am left with sore bruises  dotting my booty and hips. Maybe I am doing something wrong? Human pincushion.

photo 2

Today is my transfer day. I don’t have any real emotions about it, I’m not nervous or worried, it’s just what it is, going to the dr. to get knocked up…hopefully.

I will tell you all about it. I mean what else am I going to do in bed for 48 hours?