Home Sweet…

I was sent home from the hospital and now it’s a day by day, let’s see what happens situation. “Let’s have you get some time at home, in your own bed in case you have to come back, we are just buying time.” was how the Dr. put it. .

The contractions have subsided for the most part, for now. I continue on the meds and I am on bed rest with bathroom privileges. I’m trying to keep it together but going through this all over again is crappy and SO much harder with a 3 year old.

Heres to hoping my body can hold out until 36 weeks. If the contractions come back then I go back to the hospital. They will try to get them to stop but I am not sure how much effort will be put into it and if they don’t stop then we will go ahead and have a baby.

Now I get to sit and watch Shane get the baby stuff together, the carseat installed, cook, do the laundry and take care of the kid. Most of you might think, “how nice.” But it’s really not. Having to sit and feel useless is depressing, lonely and the time moves oh.so.slowly. But having a husband who is handling it all so well makes it easier and takes some stress away.

So now what? Besides watch soccer, which has been a lifesaver, and entertain a kid on the couch, anyone have ideas to pass the time?





32 Week Bumpdate

Gosh, I feel so boring. I don’t have much to share  these days. I had another trip to triage on Monday, only because the Dr. told me to go, I probably would have put it off. I instantly regretted that decision as soon as I saw how crowded it was. Reminder, women seem to have the most issues on Mondays…check. After a long chat with the nurse while being monitored, I was sent home with my medication dosage moved up. Exactly what I thought would happen, it’s like I’m psychic .

The next day was my Dr. appt. and it was decided that I should have another FFN test done and a cervical length check, “just to be on the safe side”, which I have now heard multiple times. It’s a good thing I guess. You know what else I have heard 100,000,000 times? Okay maybe not that many times but any time someone in the medical field looks at my stomach, I always get asked where the vertical scar came from. Then I tell them the story and the responses range from “Oh ya, I remember hearing about that” to ” Oh wow, that must have been scary.”  When the ultrasound is done to check the cervix, I get the pleasant, “Oh, there is your placenta right there, good thing we didn’t do a manual cervical check.” Like they’re surprised to see that I still have the previa. . Oh you know what else the nurse asked me as she was doing the FFN test? “Is this your last baby?” “Hell ya” I said. She said she thought that was  probably a good idea. I couldn’t agree more.

Results came back and all looks good. What does that mean? Nothing. I am now on modified bed rest, basically sitting when I can. It seems these contractions aren’t doing much, but they could, so I learned nothing. Try to take it easy, go to triage if I don’t stop contracting, take the medication that doesn’t do shit. Check, check and checkity check.

I got my C-section packet to fill out before surgery. Just a little light reading before the big day.


The triage nurse asked me if I had any religious issues with receiving blood since Previa patients sometimes require a blood transfusion, we can skip the gruesome details. I said no, but I should have said told her that I won’t except blood from racists or homophobes, wouldn’t want that shit to spread and all. I could throw a few more in there but I wouldn’t want to offend anyone.

That is how I spent my fun filled week, jealous are you? Some days are better than others, emotionally and physically but I am hanging in there.



31 Week Bumpdate

After my triage stint I had a few people tell me to “keep that bun cooking.” Clearly the only people who say this is are the ones who had an easy pregnancy or no pregnancy at all. Trust me, no one wants preterm labor, preterm meds or a baby in the NICU. So, I am doing my best to keep my bun cooking….sigh.

With that I have been on the Nifedipine for a week now and it doesn’t seem to be working as well anymore, can a medicine stop working? I imagine it can… I am starting to get contractions again when I am up and around. I have  no idea what happens if these meds stop working. Hopefully I can stay out of the triage until my next appointment on Tuesday.

I hate whining about pregnancy woes since there are so many women out there who would DIE to be in my flip flops. But lately  I get so frickin’ uncomfortable and it comes out of nowhere. Sometimes I feel great, forgetting that I am even pregnant to feeling like my ribs are going to spread and split out of my chest. Other times I feel like there is absolutely no more room in my belly for baby, zero. I don’t remember feeling like this with K and if I did it wasn’t this early.

I also didn’t feel  the side effects to Nifedipine like I do this time. Every.Single.Side.Effect hits me 15 minutes after I take a pill. Tiredness, dizziness,  hot feet, headaches. Blah blah blah. Ok i’m done.

Baby A has been moving around a ton so I haven’t had any problem getting my kick counts in, that helps relieve some stress especially when taking a new medicine. If you can believe it, because I can’t…I haven’t bought one single thing for this kid yet. She has most everything she needs, I think. Her nursery isn’t done, ahem, that will come later.

6 weeks to go.



I have been day dreaming  about this little one inside me, who will she look like, what color eyes will she have? From what I have read she is basically Kaili’s “twin” or in other words, a genetically unique sibling conceived on the same day but born years later. Since they are from the same batch of embryos and the same treatment cycle, how similar will they be? Will they have a special bond, same personalities or is that all hogwash? It’s all a little surreal and surely fascinating scientific stuff.

{Here is a nice article about another couples story “Twins” born 5 years apart”.}

The many faces of Kaili





The New Year

2013 has come and gone, just like my youth. I fell asleep on the couch before 9:00 pm on New Years eve. What can I say, growing a human being is exhausting. I woke up feeling awful, nauseous, headache…basically a hangover without the fun. I felt like crud the entire day. Happy new year.

Luckily with Shane’s help we were able to get a meal in the crockpot. We tried Jimmy Fallon’s Crock-Pot Chili and I’d say we all gave it 2 thumbs up. I think it’s safe to use the entire habanero chili but I kept to the recipe for K’s sake. Slowly she will be able to tolerate the spicy like her mom and dad.

Chili + cornbread for the kid
Chili + cornbread for the kid

It’s hard to get excited for the new year, it’s basically an extension of 2013. If this subchorionic bleed continues to be a problem then I don’t have much to look forward to other than watching life go by from my couch. If this pregnancy mimics my last one then I can’t really plan on doing much at all. I know save the sob story until we know the facts. It’s just hard to get excited about much, I am envious of all those pregnant ladies out there doing stuff. No resolution, no plans at all, bring it on 2014.

Just Words

I am not sure if the B6 is actually helping with the nausea but it is giving me some much needed energy. I cheated and had a small cup of coffee the other day and oh boy did it taste good and I felt like a champ most of the day, in between the moments of wanting to barf. Tea has been hard to drink so I am counting down the days until I allow myself a morning cup of joe.

I thought things were beginning to look up, emotionally I have been feeling a lot better and physically I hadn’t had any cramping or spotting but unfortunately it started up again this morning. I didn’t think I was doing too much but I guess I was…aggravating, depressing, I can think of a lot of words to describe my feelings. My transfer was November 13th so basically I have been on moderate bed rest for over a month. Who saw this coming?

I will leave you with a few Kaili pictures because I’ve got a date with Top Chef.

photo photo

What A Difference

What a difference 5 days makes. Here is my ultrasound picture from Friday.

6 weeks
6 weeks

Here is my ultrasound picture from yesterday.

6 weeks 5 days
6 weeks 5 days

We have a fetus and it has a heartbeat.

You can all rest easy now.

Phew is all I have to say. Now I just have to get past the first trimester right? I am still on restrictions with no end date, probably until my OB gives me the O.K.

I continue all my meds until 9 weeks and I know there is no way that I have enough here at home to get me through the next 3 weeks so you know what that means… $$$ Cha-Ching!!

My next and probably last appointment with Reproductive Partners is on Christmas Eve and unfortunately it won’t be with Dr. Garzo, sigh. But on the up side so far there is no sign of a subchorionic tear and hopefully there will be no sign of one. Can I get an AMEN?

Alright friends we did it. Thank you for all your support, only 34 weeks and 1 day to go. Well probably not even that long since I will be having a C-section. Hmm that makes her <—-{see what I did there? It just came out that way} August due date a July due date. What star sign would that be?

Thoughts at 6 Weeks

Did I tell you that someone called me a “fertile myrtle” after I told them the FET worked? That stuck with me all day. 6 years of trying to get pregnant the “old fashioned” way and I have never even had a hint of a late period. I think it’s funny how peoples views can be so skewed if they don’t know the whole story.

Last week I started having some cramping along with spotting. I called the nurse and she assured me it was completely normal, I won’t lie it was scary. This continued for a few days, Thursday night being the worst but knowing I had my ultrasound Friday was keeping me sane.

Since I blogged through my pregnancy with Kaili I have been able to go back and compare dates and symptoms. I thought this would be a good thing but maybe it’s not.

I forgot when I made my ultrasound and blood draw for Friday that it was going to be with another doctor, Garzo was out of town. The first thing he asked me was how I was feeling and I told him about the cramping and spotting. Once he was preforming the ultrasound he asked me if I have ever miscarried before. That question put a bad tone to my whole day. He showed us the gestational sac but said it was a few days too early to see the fetus. I know it’s not too early because at my 6 week appt. with Kaili we saw the fetus and her heartbeat. I was in a fog the rest of the morning. Thinking back on everything, questioning why, and quite honestly freaking out. They scheduled my next ultrasound for Friday aka 7 weeks. I called the office back a few hours later asking if I could come in earlier, since the doctor said a heartbeat should be detected at 6 weeks 3 days, I didn’t want to drive myself crazy for another week.

I do know 6 weeks can be too early and I do know cramping and spotting can be normal and that my progesterone level being low can also be normal but it can also not be normal. I went into this expecting the worst, hoping for the best. After having a serious one on one talk with myself, I do think everything is fine. My pregnancy symptoms are strong, I have the nose of a bloodhound that can sniff out last nights meal on a stranger walking past me, I have days where I feel like I have narcolepsy and could fall asleep standing up and I have been nauseous  at the strangest of times mostly at 1-3 A.m. I am sure everything is just fine . This process is hard, emotional, frustrating and stressful.
I have been put on modified bed rest until a heartbeat is detected, my next ultrasound is Wednesday. 

Until then, go Hawks! #louder

Do You Want to Know What I Know?

My last post I told y’all that I wasn’t having any real pregnancy symptoms and I had no idea if I was pregnant or not. That all changed Friday. All of the sudden I was really thirsty and really tired, I think I fell asleep before 8. That is when I thought, “ya, I am pregnant”.

My skin is breaking out like I am 14 years old and I am itchy all over. Also my dreams have taken a strange and vivid turn to the dark side.


Sunday morning I went for my BETA, being one of the only people in the entire building I was in and out. 2 1/2 hours later my nurse called.

“You are pregnant!”

“Awesome”. “What is my BETA?”


“Holy shit that is high!”

My BETA with K was 350 and I thought that was high but that was nothing. Let’s hope that assisted hatching didn’t give us an extra surprise baby, just one very healthy pregnancy. Today I am 4 weeks, 3 days pregnant with an EDD {estimated due date} of August 1, 2014.

photo 2

My estrogen and Progesterone levels came back as well. My doses will stay the same but on top of those I will add 2 Progesterone suppositories a day. My next appointment is in December when I will have my first ultrasound to make sure everything is as it should be.

Thanks for all the well wishes. Let’s hope the journey is smooth.

Excuse me now, I need a nap.

photo 1

Get Busy

I have had people ask me if I feel pregnant. Nope, not at all. Other than some period like cramping on and off the past 9 days all I have felt are cold symptoms. Yesterday I fought with myself about buying a HPT { home pregnancy test } I believe HCG can be detected in a HPT {home pregnancy test} around 7 days post transfer. I just want to know, you know? But I decided not to…here is why.

Back in ’09 right after we had our first IUI {Intrauterine insemination} I bought a bag load of HPT’s from the dollar store.

Who buys HPT’s from the dollar store?

This girl. When you are taking a test 10 times or so a month for month after month, that shit adds up. The dollar store is the way to go, and yes they are accurate.

I packed a bunch of tests and Shane and I headed out on a trip, I tested everyday. Negative, negative negative. Once we got back from our trip and I was getting ready for work it dawned on me my period hadn’t come. My cycles were very regular, so on the way to work I grabbed one more HPT. What do you know, it was  positive. I was stunned, to say the least.  My nurse told me to come  in later that day for a blood test. The test resulted in a low BETA HCG levels. They tried to encourage me telling me it doesn’t always matter the number but they do want to see it double every 24 hours. I went back in the next morning and sadly it didn’t double, not even close.  The inevitable was going to happen and there was nothing I could do but wait it out.

That is why I talked myself out of taking a test yesterday. Sure it could tell me that I am pregnant but that really doesn’t mean much. All it does is gets your hopes up a few days before you find out the whole story.

Needless to say the days seem to be crawling by, I just want to know my fate.

On the positive side, I cut out caffeine cold turkey and haven’t had a problem at all. Last time I had horrible headaches and I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of caffeine or the cocktail of meds, now I am pretty sure it was the meds. Thankfully.

I have 48 more hours until my blood test and there is rain in the forecast. Need to get busy being busy.