Hey December, what’s the rush? Wasn’t it just Thanksgiving 4 days ago?
We had a laid back day that didn’t involve turkey but gluttony may have been a factor.
It was delightful.
Shane didn’t waste any time moving onto Christmas, the next day we were rocking the lights and a 10 foot Mickey Mouse.
When he deflates Kaili gets concerned that “Mickey fell down.”
We spent the beautiful weekend lazily lounging around. We got some shopping done down at Seaport Village.
This is where you will end up if you don’t listen to your parents.
You can’t leave the Village without hitting up the Carousel . I have memories of riding these same fake horses, cause who rides the ostriches.. when I was a child.
Our tree is up, decorated and there are even wrapped presents underneath. Now I get to spend the next 23 days telling K to not touch the ornaments and hands off the presents. How much do you want to bet that one of the two will have a casualty by the end of the week?
I am having more side effects this time around. My face seems to break out more and more each day, I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the 6 birth control patches on my stomach…or both. I am ready to be done with them. I am super itchy and sneezy, part of me wonders if I have a mild allergy to something I am taking. I am not sleeping great but can’t seem to keep my eyes open past 9:00pm. I visit the bathroom 2-5 times a night already and get really thirsty out of the blue so I must have water within reach at all times.
Ok, enough with my whining…whine= wine..which I would like a glass of….
Tuesday I picked up my in-laws at John Wayne airport. After some Thanksgiving day grocery shopping we took them to Sushi Deli down the road for some non-Walla Walla food. Kaili devoured the entire bowl of garlic edamame, ate the crust off the calamari and dove head first into the rice. She just discovered soy sauce and would probably drink it if we allowed her to.
We spent part of yesterday morning at SeaWorld, we all had passes so we didn’t feeling guilty once we saw what we wanted and split. AKA 2 hours later. They have the Christmas season going on complete with Santa and his reindeer.
Kaili was happy to see Penny Penguin…
But when Shamu creeped up on her she was over it and ran away.
After a big lunch we took a walk to the store to pick up all things forgetten from yesterdays trip. I spent the evening baking. The amount of food we will have tomorrow is nauseating. But eating until we make ourselves sick and then killing someone over a T.V. on black Friday is what the USA is all about, am I right?
I am thankful for our baby maker Dr. Garzo, without him our hearts and home would be empty. I am thankful for my husband who works so hard to give us a nice life and pays the good doctor the big bucks to knock me up. I am thankful for my daughter who has shown me what true love really is and makes me smile every time I look at her.
My last post I told y’all that I wasn’t having any real pregnancy symptoms and I had no idea if I was pregnant or not. That all changed Friday. All of the sudden I was really thirsty and really tired, I think I fell asleep before 8. That is when I thought, “ya, I am pregnant”.
My skin is breaking out like I am 14 years old and I am itchy all over. Also my dreams have taken a strange and vivid turn to the dark side.
Sunday morning I went for my BETA, being one of the only people in the entire building I was in and out. 2 1/2 hours later my nurse called.
“You are pregnant!”
“Awesome”. “What is my BETA?”
“798”.
“Holy shit that is high!”
My BETA with K was 350 and I thought that was high but that was nothing. Let’s hope that assisted hatching didn’t give us an extra surprise baby, just one very healthy pregnancy. Today I am 4 weeks, 3 days pregnant with an EDD {estimated due date} of August 1, 2014.
My estrogen and Progesterone levels came back as well. My doses will stay the same but on top of those I will add 2 Progesterone suppositories a day. My next appointment is in December when I will have my first ultrasound to make sure everything is as it should be.
Thanks for all the well wishes. Let’s hope the journey is smooth.
I have had people ask me if I feel pregnant. Nope, not at all. Other than some period like cramping on and off the past 9 days all I have felt are cold symptoms. Yesterday I fought with myself about buying a HPT { home pregnancy test } I believe HCG can be detected in a HPT {home pregnancy test} around 7 days post transfer. I just want to know, you know? But I decided not to…here is why.
Back in ’09 right after we had our first IUI {Intrauterine insemination} I bought a bag load of HPT’s from the dollar store.
Who buys HPT’s from the dollar store?
This girl. When you are taking a test 10 times or so a month for month after month, that shit adds up. The dollar store is the way to go, and yes they are accurate.
I packed a bunch of tests and Shane and I headed out on a trip, I tested everyday. Negative, negative negative. Once we got back from our trip and I was getting ready for work it dawned on me my period hadn’t come. My cycles were very regular, so on the way to work I grabbed one more HPT. What do you know, it was positive. I was stunned, to say the least. My nurse told me to come in later that day for a blood test. The test resulted in a low BETA HCG levels. They tried to encourage me telling me it doesn’t always matter the number but they do want to see it double every 24 hours. I went back in the next morning and sadly it didn’t double, not even close. The inevitable was going to happen and there was nothing I could do but wait it out.
That is why I talked myself out of taking a test yesterday. Sure it could tell me that I am pregnant but that really doesn’t mean much. All it does is gets your hopes up a few days before you find out the whole story.
Needless to say the days seem to be crawling by, I just want to know my fate.
On the positive side, I cut out caffeine cold turkey and haven’t had a problem at all. Last time I had horrible headaches and I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of caffeine or the cocktail of meds, now I am pretty sure it was the meds. Thankfully.
I have 48 more hours until my blood test and there is rain in the forecast. Need to get busy being busy.
I have been dodging a cold for the past few months but for whatever reason it got ahold of me and hasn’t let go. It has taken all my energy to get through the days, let alone start them at 4 a.m.
Kaili came bouncing out of her room at that time this morning. I ushered her back to room countless times. I tried the silent approach, the reasoning approach and the firm approach. None of them worked and we were still at it at 5:30 when I finally gave in and let her come into my room and watch Little Bear. Big fat FAIL. Tell me I am not the only one dealing with this.
Morning walkDuck crossingGiddy upneighborhood strollMake a wish“I did it”Two artists
Oh and I taught Kaili to put on her own damn jacket. This trick has been working since the 90’s.
I have never said that before, I totally aged myself.
Bed rest, possibly two of the most dreaded words. EVER. Anyone who says they would love to be on bed rest, clearly has never been on bed rest.
Months of bed rest was hard without a child, 48 hours of bed rest with a child is just as hard. Not just for me but for her too. She doesn’t understand why I can’t get up. She doesn’t understand why she can’t jump on me. It’s hard for both of us.
She kept me company
She fell out of her bed the other night for the first time. A loud thud followed by crying, I couldn’t help but jump up and go to her. Shane calmed her down and surprisingly she went right back to sleep.
That shit was scary.
Once the long 48 hours were over I happily took a shower then planted myself back on the couch. Trying to stay off my feet unless necessary makes for a very low key couple of days. A trip to the store, a walk, baking and art with the kid about wraps up our weekend.
Get it girl.
I am trying my hardest to stay out of my head. Since I have been through the dreaded 2 week wait many a times before, it’s hard not to read into any twinge or non twinge for that matter. I know each time is different but with each day that goes by I get more concerned that this round didn’t take.I have to stop myself and think positive. I also caught a cold, no medicine and no caffeine is a bad combination.
I want to say thank you for all the well wishes from you guys. The transfer went just as I expected it to, smooth and quick.
We arrived at the office at 10:00 and sat around drinking my water until the embryologist came to get us. She showed us our Grade A free range embryo. She said it thawed just fine and we were ready to rock n roll.
I took my valium and then into the procedure room we went to got ready.
To do the ditty. Just kidding.
Once things were in place, the embryologist wheeled in our future child and Dr. Garzo got to work, not 10 uncomfortable minutes laterhe was done and I was officially a little bit pregnant.
Wham bam thank ya ma’am.
I continued to lay down for 30 minutes and then got my discharge info and was wheeled down to the car.
I spent the afternoon napping and reading. Besides the grogginess from the valium I feel just fine. Although once I started to get hungry, Shane was on the phone with work. I then realized I should have planned on stocking up my bedside drawer with snacks.
I must stay on the bed or the couch until Friday night/Saturday morning. Saturday I can return to my normal routine with some limitations, no lifting Kaili and no physical activity other than walking. This will continue until we hear a heartbeat or I get a negative pregnancy test.
Remember when I got my bag of goodies last week? Needles, Progesterone, alcohol swabs?
I was dreading, no seriously dreading the first injection. But, it wasn’t bad. At all.
Shane has been giving me them since Friday and he has gotten really good at it, I don’t feel a thing.
Then Monday rolled around and I couldn’t shake the fact that I was going to have to give myself the shot. I so over reacted, imagine that. I mean there is nothing fun with jabbing yourself with a big ass needle but it’s totally doable, I didn’t faint, cry or even whimper. Winning! The worst part is the the aftermath. I am left with sore bruises dotting my booty and hips. Maybe I am doing something wrong? Human pincushion.
Today is my transfer day. I don’t have any real emotions about it, I’m not nervous or worried, it’s just what it is, going to the dr. to get knocked up…hopefully.
I will tell you all about it. I mean what else am I going to do in bed for 48 hours?
Can anyone tell me what happened? This past week is a blur, I was in San Diego then Orange County and back again….back again. I am pretty sure I left off after my Dr. appointment, is that right?
If so, we spent Friday up in the OC. We cheered on David Wagner’s doubles partner Nick as he fought for third place, we didn’t cheer loud enough and he lost.
Sigh.
After, we ate our sorrows away.
Sitting on the Mission Viejo lake we devoured an amazing anchovy and caper dotted Caesar salad and garlic infused pizza.
Later in the evening we went back to the tennis center for the guys’ doubles match. I am so grateful for all the friends and family that made it out for this tournament.
They won.
Of course they did!
Thankful for Grandpa, we were able to go out for a sushi feast after the match. I am still drooling thinking about one of those damn rolls, so good.
The better half of Saturday was spent at the Tennis Center, eating, drinking, tennis.
They won again.
Uh huh, we get the picture.
We drove back home {San Damn Diego} later that evening and spent the rest of the weekend trying our hardest not to move from the couch or from the T.V.
Football, Homeland, Hello Ladies. Are you watching?
We watched David and Nick play their doubles final online, they won!!
Monday, Kaili woke me up early, 5 am early.
Anyone want her? I am trading her in for a new one, preferably one that sleeps in.
We hit the road by 10 am heading back to Mission Viejo to watch David play the Masters final. Kaili was a true monster the whole way up but once I told her I was going to leave her in Mission Viejo, she cheered up, fast.
The finals match started rough, I won’t lie. David was down 6-0 the first set.
Gulp!
However he kicked it into gear and got the job done in the third set.
NEC wheelchair Masters championGiving him CongratsLOVE
David Wagner wrapped it up. The NEC wheelchair Masters champ….again.
6 estrogen patches did the trick, my lining jumped from a 6 to a 10. The time has come.
We met with Dr. Garzo in his office and with my stomach in a knot we looked over our embryos. We have 1 good, 7 fair and 1 poor embryo to choose from, we went with the obvious choice.
We scheduled our transfer for next Wednesday. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this. I start Progesterone injections, prednisone and doxycyclin tomorrow. I continue the estrogen patches as is and if I get a BFP{big fat positive} then I will continue the PIO {progesterone} injections and the stupid patches through week 9 of my pregnancy. ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?
I hated the progesterone injections last time. THEY HURT! But at least last time Shane was local and able to give them to me. This time I am going to have to put on a brave face and do them myself when he’s gone. This is stressing me out. I can’t wait to show you the needle.
Here’s the plan. I show up at the Dr. an hour before our transfer time on Wednesday. I sit and drink water as instructed and take my valium when they tell me to. Then I get prepped for the transfer and Dr. Garzo will attempt to knock me up. I will have a blood test 11 days later. All the while I have to stick a long ass needle in my gluteus maximus every.damn.night.
Is she done complaining yet?
I am cautiously nervous about this. The excitement I felt last time has been replaced with memories and I can’t help that. So, no need to tell me “this time it will be a breeze” because I know that it probably will be but if you know me, I worry. It makes me sad and frustrated that I have to go through all this shit to have a baby. I don’t want to give myself shots and I don’t want to pay 100+ dollars for each box of 16 patches, I change 6 of those damn things every 3 days {and that is if they all actually stay on} Never happens.
You know you’re going through infertility when your phone log looks like this.
It’s not fair and I don’t want to….pity party for 1.
Happy December.
The Art of Thyming 