Get Busy

I have had people ask me if I feel pregnant. Nope, not at all. Other than some period like cramping on and off the past 9 days all I have felt are cold symptoms. Yesterday I fought with myself about buying a HPT { home pregnancy test } I believe HCG can be detected in a HPT {home pregnancy test} around 7 days post transfer. I just want to know, you know? But I decided not to…here is why.

Back in ’09 right after we had our first IUI {Intrauterine insemination} I bought a bag load of HPT’s from the dollar store.

Who buys HPT’s from the dollar store?

This girl. When you are taking a test 10 times or so a month for month after month, that shit adds up. The dollar store is the way to go, and yes they are accurate.

I packed a bunch of tests and Shane and I headed out on a trip, I tested everyday. Negative, negative negative. Once we got back from our trip and I was getting ready for work it dawned on me my period hadn’t come. My cycles were very regular, so on the way to work I grabbed one more HPT. What do you know, it was  positive. I was stunned, to say the least.  My nurse told me to come  in later that day for a blood test. The test resulted in a low BETA HCG levels. They tried to encourage me telling me it doesn’t always matter the number but they do want to see it double every 24 hours. I went back in the next morning and sadly it didn’t double, not even close.  The inevitable was going to happen and there was nothing I could do but wait it out.

That is why I talked myself out of taking a test yesterday. Sure it could tell me that I am pregnant but that really doesn’t mean much. All it does is gets your hopes up a few days before you find out the whole story.

Needless to say the days seem to be crawling by, I just want to know my fate.

On the positive side, I cut out caffeine cold turkey and haven’t had a problem at all. Last time I had horrible headaches and I wasn’t sure if it was the lack of caffeine or the cocktail of meds, now I am pretty sure it was the meds. Thankfully.

I have 48 more hours until my blood test and there is rain in the forecast. Need to get busy being busy.


48 Hours

Catchy title, I know.

Bed rest, possibly two of the most dreaded words. EVER. Anyone who says they would love to be on bed rest, clearly has never been on bed rest.

Months of bed rest was hard without a child, 48 hours of bed rest with a child is just as hard. Not just for me but for her too. She doesn’t understand why I can’t get up. She doesn’t understand why she can’t jump on me. It’s hard for both of us.

She kept me company
She kept me company

She fell out of her  bed the other night for the first time. A loud thud followed by crying, I couldn’t help but jump up and go to her. Shane calmed her down and surprisingly she went right back to sleep.

That shit was scary.

Once the long 48 hours were over I happily took a shower then planted myself back on the couch. Trying to stay off my feet unless necessary makes for a very low key couple of days. A trip to the store, a walk, baking and art with the kid about wraps up our weekend.


Get it girl.
Get it girl.

IMG_1453 IMG_1465

I am trying my hardest to stay out of my head. Since I have been through the dreaded 2 week wait many a times before, it’s hard not to read into any twinge or non twinge for that matter. I know each time is different but with each day that goes by I get more concerned that this round didn’t take.I have to stop myself and think positive. I also caught a cold, no medicine and no caffeine is a bad combination.

6 more days of waiting.


A Little Bit Pregnant….Again.

I want to say thank you for all the well wishes from you guys. The transfer went just as I expected it to, smooth and quick.

We arrived at the office at 10:00 and sat around drinking my water until the embryologist came to get us. She showed us our Grade A free range embryo. She said it thawed just fine and we were ready to rock n roll.

I took my valium and then into the procedure room we went to got ready. 

To do the ditty. Just kidding.

Once things were in place, the embryologist wheeled in our future child and Dr. Garzo got to work, not 10 uncomfortable  minutes later he was done and I was officially a little bit pregnant.

Wham bam thank ya ma’am.

I continued to lay down for 30 minutes and then got my discharge info and was wheeled down to the car.

I spent the afternoon napping and reading. Besides the grogginess from the valium I feel just fine. Although once I started to get hungry, Shane was on the phone with work. I then realized I should have planned on stocking up my bedside drawer with snacks.

I must stay on the bed or the couch until Friday night/Saturday morning. Saturday I can return to my normal routine with some limitations, no lifting Kaili and no physical activity other than walking. This will continue until we hear a heartbeat or I get a negative pregnancy test.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock….

It’s 4 days post embryo transfer and I have been on an emotional roller coaster. All the  wondering and what ifs are getting to me. I am doing my best to clear my head and remember it’s all the hormones in me but it’s hard to do. Tomorrow is my progesterone level test and I can’t stop thinking about what the results will be and what they will mean.  I don’t want to be around anyone other than a  few friends and family that know what we are going through. I feel like hiding out! That sort of concerns me, I don’t want to sink into a depression but that is sort of what it feels like.

I managed to get outside for a bit to read in the sun today , although it is HOT out there…would be a great day for a pool. In a few hours I am headed to acupuncture which is a very relaxing place to be.  I am looking forward to the Dr. giving me the OK for some walking. I think I would like to walk out by the water or even on the treadmill, I am hoping that will lift my mood. Don’t have much more to write about today. Going to work after my appointment tomorrow, maybe that will help take my mind off things!

A little bit pregnant…after egg transfer

We had the egg transfer yesterday and it’s pretty exciting to know there is an embryo inside me trying to bury itself into my uterine lining!

Yesterday we got to the Dr. at 10:00 and met with the embryologist. She showed us all the fertilized embryos and how they graded them. That whole process is over my head . The bottom line was we have 6 blastocysts and 2 that were ready for transfer. So she asked us the question of the day…” how many embryos do you want to transfer?”  What a surreal experience, sitting in a Dr. office deciding how many babies we want. Our ultimate decision was to transfer just one. Just one baby for us…for now!  We are freezing the rest, total of 9!

The Transfer itself was pretty easy. The Doc did a practice trial first to map out exactly where he wanted to put nubs ( Shane’s nickname for our lil embryo) The whole process didn’t last long, no more than 10 minutes. They had me continue to lay down for 30 minutes before I was wheeled down to the car.

I find myself antsy and having a little anxiety during this time of bed rest. I want to get up and take a shower, sit in the sun but I am laying down on the couch and the bed trying to keep myself entertained. My parents came down and it’s nice to have them here. You don’t realize all the things you get up for during the day until you can’t get up anymore.  This 2 weeks is going to be a long wait I am sure and I need serious willpower to not take a HPT before the 2 weeks are up…Give me strength 😉