I made this video montage of Kaili to celebrate the first 4 months of her life! I had a hard time finally uploading it to YouTube and I am not sure if I sent it to everyone I wanted to. So here it is for anyone I missed!

Kaili is starting to get some good use out of her exersaucer. She is still too small for it but I have been bunching up a blanket behind her and that seems to help. Each day she plays a little longer in it trying hard to grasp at the toys. It’s funny to see the determination on her face when she wants to grab ahold of something. They don’t call it an exersaucer for nothing, after playing she rubs her eyes and is ready for a nap. Brilliant for when I need to get some things done!

Today I reread this blog and I can’t believe I am saying this but I sort of forgot how hard it was. Rereading it brought back feelings of dread and worry that I am glad to say slipped my memory. However, I will never forget the day I first left the Perinatologist’s office when the Subchorionic tear was found. I was devastated, I wanted the pregnancy so bad I couldn’t imagine something happening at that stage. I am so lucky that every little “problem” I had turned out OK in the end.

I loved the blog post “Game Plan!” Talking about stopping my contraction meds at 36 weeks and waiting for baby K’s descent. The Dr. telling me to be prepared for her arrival. What a bad joke that turned out to be. Who would have thought that my finally calm pregnancy at 33 to 39 weeks would turn into the fiasco it did? Induction at 39 weeks and after 30 hours of laboring, being told I needed a C-section. I will never forget the worried feeling I had once I wasn’t on the baby monitor anymore. I will never forget the male nurse telling me everything will be fine, they will take good care of me in the operating room. Then all hell broke loose. I will never forget the look in my doctors eyes when she was trying to tell me everything was fine but deep down I knew it wasn’t. My doctor couldn’t get Kaili out, she was wedged so tight deep down in my pelvic bone. When the incision was made her shoulders were where her head should have been. An emergency cut up my abdomen was necessary to get her out and during the incision Kaili’s hand was lacerated, badly. I will never forget the pain I felt when my doctor was pulling and tugging at my body because they couldn’t get her out.

I will never forget my baby being rushed away without me seeing her and without making a sound. I was crying, asking  what was wrong. That was when things went dark. I remember waking up, still on the operating table, still no baby. Apparently I was there for a while. I woke up in recovery with my blood pressure skyrocketing and crying to see my baby girl. A nurse let me know that my baby was indeed alive because I was starting to have doubts. My doctor came to recovery and told me what happened. She said with tears in her eyes, ” I cut her! It’s bad!”

I will never forget when I first saw her in the NICU. Tubes everywhere and she was on an ice bed to stop swelling in her brain. She wasn’t breathing when she was finally delivered and the doctors were worried there may have been some brain damage.
I will never forget when my sweet baby girl needed hand surgery and I couldn’t be there for her.

I will never forget how much pain I was in! Emotionally and physically, that was the hardest, saddest and scariest thing I have ever been through but I am so lucky to say that we made it, both of us. Believe it or not Kaili was actually released from the hospital before I was. She was released to my hospital room, I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

I will never forget how hard the journey was to get where we are at. Infertility sucks but science is amazing! I still can’t wrap my head around what I have been through. I have an amazing daughter who is the strongest little thing I have ever met. She really has beaten the odds, even from the very beginning. She was meant to be here with me and I love her to the moon and back!

I put Kaili in her swing so Shane and I could get some stuff done around the house. While I was in the kitchen I could hear her start to do her “pretend” cry. She will do this if she can’t see anyone or is just bored. I went to check on her and I couldn’t believe what I saw. She had fallen completely sideways with only the swing harness holding her in. It was scary but then I realized she was fine but a bit scared I imagine. I had to capture it with my phone before I rescued her, is that bad of me? I am so glad that we always strap her in to everything that is high or moves and I hope that everyone else out there does the same. It can save a trip to the ER.

It’s day three of Kaili’s new formula and so far so good, sort of… I always wondered what I was going to do with all the bibs we had for Kaili, she never spit up. I even had people mention to me how she never spits up. So I assumed I would pull them out once we started solids. Well yesterday I changed my shirt 3 times and she pulled ahead with 4 outfit changes. She was spitting up all day at no apparent time, with no warning. Luckily the spitting up doesn’t seem to be bothering her at all. So today I put a bib on her and guess what? No spit up, well not until I took it off her to put her down for a nap. Then she spit up all over the place, go figure.

I took Kaili to the park to try out the swings. She is too small for them but no harm in getting her used to them.

She seemed to enjoy taking in her surroundings and “walking” in the sand. But who needs a park when you have feet?

At 4 months old little Miss K is now giggling. She makes me work for it but it’s the cutest thing ever when she let’s it out. Right now tickling her is the only way to get her to laugh and she has to be in the mood. I assume it will happen more naturally and more often in the next month.

Right after our trip to Wa. I started putting Kaili down for the night in her crib. She was sleeping through the night in her rock n play sleeper and in her bassinet but unfortunately this wasn’t the case in the crib. She had a few good nights but mostly she woke sporadically at least once every night. Last Sunday I finally decided to try putting her to sleep back  in her rock n play but in her room. I figured if she still woke up in the rocker than maybe it was just a growth spurt she was going through but if she slept all night then it was the crib causing her to wake. That night she slept from 8pm to 7:30 am. That was enough for me to decide holding off on transitioning to the crib. She now sleeps soundly all night long in her rock n play in her own room.

This week I am also going to start her back on the regular Similac formula. We have a boat load of the stuff here and I didn’t want to ‘rock the boat’ before our trip. Now is as good of time than any to give it a shot. I am hoping it will be an easy transition and that her digestive system is mature enough to handle it. I don’t want her to have to be a lactose free child. Fingers crossed!

This last week has been spent catching up with friends I haven’t seen in a while. My friend Lauren whom I used to teach with is now  a mommy too. A great mommy just as I knew she would be. We took the kiddos to Kate Sessions park after a trip to the Pacific Beach farmers market. The park  has a tremendous view and is commonly used for wedding ceremonies. You can see why..

Her little girl enjoyed running around and hamming it up with other park goers. I must say I am happy my little girl is still immobile!