Fertility, Pregnancy, Baby stuff

A Week in Photos

~ Girlmom ~ 2 Comments

Kaili accidentally dropped her cup of milk on the ground, with a worried look on her face she said “sorry mommy.” I grabbed her, hugged her and told her it’s fine and it wasn’t her fault and then I acted out this scene from Good Will Hunting. I wish you guys could have seen it, I was riveting.

Kaili was invited to one of her little friends birthday party over the weekend. Ariel aka The Little Mermaid made an appearance and now everything is mermaids this and mermaids that. It should last for another 5 minutes and then it will be old news.

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I managed to get the kids packed up and we hit the road to walk Kaili TO school, first time for everything.

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I finally got around to taking Kaili for a haircut. Little Locks in La Jolla is the cutest place, half salon, half toy store. She sat patiently through the whole thing.

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This little girl is 7 weeks old today.

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Kaili assures me she likes her baby. She assists me with every diaper change and smothers her with kisses.

Averi is getting stronger, holding her head up more often. She will give you a smile, if you’re lucky and she even giggled in her sleep which was the cutest thing to date.

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6 Week Ramble

~ Girlmom ~ 1 Comment

It’s been 6 weeks and I am practically pain free so I think it’s time I start exercising again. I’m going to go ahead and start without the approval of my doc since I haven’t had my postpartum check-up yet. It should be okay…right?

In the 6 weeks, Averi has been on 3 different formulas. She has been uncomfortable, grunting and gassy. Just the other night we switched for a third time and so far it seems to be making all the difference. She is happier and sleeping longer stretches, can I get an AMEN.

Okay, so I am a little late on the one month photos….

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My next door neighbor has been such a help the past few weeks. Almost every day she comes over and helps me by entertaining Kaili. It’s allows me just enough time to get dinner made or an errand ran without Kaili on my heels… every damn second. This kid says “mommy” roughly  570 times a day. 560 times she doesn’t actually have anything to tell me, she just want’s to drive me bat shit crazy. I have thought about inviting one of the Muslims in for a glass of wine just so she could bother them for a few minutes, allow me some time to make bottles. Wait, is alcohol allowed in the Muslim religion? Well if not, there are always the Lutherans that go door to door, we all know the Lutherans like their wine.

Every day Shane is gone at work,  I get a little more in tune with  being solo with two kids. I may clean most of the house with baby wipes and Kaili asks where we are going if I brush my hair, but they are both getting fed, I am getting a shower and we are all getting some sleep. If I can keep them both alive then I say “WINNING!”

 

The Constant

~ Girlmom ~ 1 Comment

You know what parenting two kids is? It’s constant…non-stop, sometimes wonderful, other times not so wonderful constancy. It’s a perpetual motion tending to both of them on my own and I have two easy (so far) kids. The hardest part is when they tag team me at 5:00 in the morning. Kaili has been waking up super early and it only seems to happen when Shane isn’t home.

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Averi is almost 6 weeks old and is different day to day. She eats about every 2-4 hours during the day, at night its anybody’s guess. I try to be consistent putting her down around 8:30-9:00. Some nights she wakes up 3 hours later on.the.dot, and others  she will go a nice long stretch waiting until 2:00 or 3:00am. The latter is happening more often and it’s dreamy.

When she’s awake, she wants to be snuggled. A little tummy time here, a little swing time there but then its into my arms. Put here in the stroller or the car and she passes out like a frat boy after a kegger and she will stay asleep.

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Since she is an easy traveler we have been getting out a lot on the weekends, car shows, festivals, wine tasting and lunches.

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San Diego Bay *photo courtesy of Brian Kerr

 

Considering Averi should have only been here 18 days ago, It’s been nice to be able to enjoy summer a little longer than I had expected. Soon it will fade away and Fall will be peeking around the corner.

 

3 Week Babydate

~ Girlmom ~ 1 Comment

The babe likes to eat and is already over 7 lbs going on 20. She eats 3-4 and sometimes 5 oz. every 3 hours. Lately she struggles to get comfortable when she’s done due to gas. I usually  feed her at 10pm and then turn in myself but the other night I stayed up with her until close to midnight trying to get her settled. She woke for her next meal not an hour later. Yawn…thankfully Shane got up with Kaili the next morning. I woke up frantically at 8 am realizing Kaili had her first day of school starting at 8:30. I threw her lunch together in a fog and had to double check it when we got to school, just to make sure I actually packed her food.

I tried switching up her schedule the other night and it ended up backfiring on me with Averi awake and hungry at 5:am. That is the worst time since there is no going back to sleep with early bird Kaili rising at 6:30. I am going to have to get my shit together before Shane heads back to work Monday.

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On a positive note, I got both girls to sleep in their own rooms at the same time yesterday and it was a nice glimpse into the future. I also managed to leave the house with both of them on my own. It may not seem like a huge fete but to me it was. Kaili helped me pick out hummus, fruit and we did some dark chocolate tasting at the farmers market. The girl knows her chocolate, she chose the 77% from Madagascar.

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3 weeks old and no time isn’t flying by, it seems longer than 3 weeks since I had Averi. Maybe it’s because my recovery has been slow going but I imagine time will speed up when I am all on my own.

Kaili Meets Averi

~ Girlmom ~ 4 Comments

Yesterday morning Shane and I headed to the hospital early to feed Averi and hoping to take her home. Luckily Dr. Katherian was the on duty doctor and Averi was first on his to-do list. Within the hour we were driving away, this time she was in the back seat.
On the way to the hospital I couldn’t keep the tears away and I told Shane there was no way I could leave her there another night. I was thinking to myself how sad I felt and how I might need to talk to somebody because the sadness was deeper than what I felt with Kaili. But the euphoria I felt when driving home with Averi was amazing and every bit of sadness was gone. I laughed for the first time in days.

We were able to get somewhat settled before Kaili came home from school. As requested I filmed her walking in to meet her sister for the first time.     This will make you smile.

 

 

The biggest challenge I foresee having is trying to tend to baby while Kaili is all up in my business. But as far as day one went, I think it was perfect.

 

Hardest Part

~ Girlmom ~ 4 Comments

Averi has been making huge strides. She ended up needing some phototherapy since her billiruben levels were high. This is most likely because she wasn’t eating or pooping due to her meconium blockage. She stayed under the lights for 24 hours and that lowered her levels enough to satisfy the doctors. She has been eating, pooping and sleeping like a champ.

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I was discharged Monday leaving Averi behind which is up there with one of the hardest things I have ever done. She was moved out of the intensive care area and into the feeder/grower unit to make sure she is gaining weight. I have been back for most of her feedings trying hard not to take too much time away from Kaili. My heart is being pulled in two different directions.

I have a feeling of emptiness and of course sadness. I carried this child for 9 months and went to the hospital with a baby in my belly. She was taken from me and never given back. Almost a week later and  I am at home without her, it’s the worst feeling knowing the nurses are their caring for her instead of me,  my heart aches.

If you can believe it, I have heard that I have been “feeling sorry for myself”, and that I am emotional and hormonal.  But in all honesty this is ridiculously painful and I feel robbed not having Averi right here with me this moment. I do my best to brush off these comments but until you’ve been through this exact situation, you shouldn’t judge another persons emotions.

The day I was discharged, NBC news was at the hospital eager to get our story. I know I briefly mentioned about how Dr. Katheria approached us before my delivery about using his new warmer bed procedure during our delivery. Here is the story NBC aired.

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/New-Preemie-Bed-Sharp-Mary-Birch-Hospital-Snyder-LifeStart-267196811.html

I am really hoping by the time you read this we are on our way to pick up baby A or we already have her home. I can’t wait to get on with our lives with Averi at home.

 

35 Week Bumpdate

~ Girlmom ~ 3 Comments

The countdown is officially on, 13 days until we meet the little human. I had my last ultrasound yesterday. We learned that she weighs about 5 lbs. 5 oz, has cute chubby cheeks and a head of hair. The scan was also one last chance to see if my placenta decided to move, it hasn’t.

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The foot that will score many goals in the future.

The days are moving along slowly but I’m not feeling too bad. Sleep comes in waves as does the nausea.

In soccer news, the USMNT has made it out of the group round and into knockout round. No one thought they could do it with the teams they were faced with. I’ve been lucky <–not the best word) enough to watch every match of the WC and catch all the drama, bloody heads and preschool antics. If you aren’t watching, you are disappointing your country and you should feel really bad about yourself.

Kaili has been handling my bed rest pretty good. It’s hard on me knowing it’s hard on her. Besides school, she is basically housebound with me. Trips to the park and play time in the hot tub help, but I swear, Shane built her this great play house area and it’s like she is allergic to playing alone. I told her that giving her a sister is the best gift we could ever give her. She likes to hug the belly and say hi to baby A, it’s pretty darn cute. Yesterday she told me she wants to get back in my belly to “try it out”…that kid.

On top of everything, her preschool is closing at the end of July. I am now in search of a new school that I can get her into by August 1st. I have an idea of a school nearby, fingers crossed they pass all the checklist questions and it will be a good fit. Trying to find a new school via the couch isn’t the way I had planned it going, as so is life and my pregnancies.

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What Should I Title This?

~ Girlmom ~ 3 Comments

Kaili was sitting on Shane’s lap playing nicely and then out of the blue she hit him. “Kaili, we don’t hit, do you need to go to your room?” “Yes,” replied Kaili. Then she stomped down the hallway and the slamming of her door followed. A minute later she came out smiling.

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Did you guys watch the USA game yesterday? The range of emotions I felt during that 95 minutes was unreal.

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As I mentioned all I want to eat are desserts. Delicious decadent heavenly desserts. I saw a commercial for Sonic’s milkshakes, I have only been to a Sonic once in my life and it was on a road trip. Never need to go back but when I saw the commercial I could have sent Shane to the nearest one at that moment, they looked so good. Then I saw a picture of a coconut cream pie, are you kidding me? But then this recipe happened on Pinterest. I guess it’s been awhile since I looked for instant pudding but I don’t remember seeing coconut pudding before. This recipe definitely needs to be tested.

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I have had some contractions again the past couple of days, they seem innocent enough for now. I found this picture I took on one of the days I was at Triage. It’s probably hard to imagine what a contraction looks like on paper, so I thought I would share.

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We are officially under 20 days until we get to meet the baby. I am trying to go over all of the things I need for baby A. I am reusing everything of Kaili’s for the most part.  Going over some lists, I see I am missing a few things. If you have any suggestions for items that I could use, please indulge.

Home Sweet…

~ Girlmom ~ 10 Comments

I was sent home from the hospital and now it’s a day by day, let’s see what happens situation. “Let’s have you get some time at home, in your own bed in case you have to come back, we are just buying time.” was how the Dr. put it. .

The contractions have subsided for the most part, for now. I continue on the meds and I am on bed rest with bathroom privileges. I’m trying to keep it together but going through this all over again is crappy and SO much harder with a 3 year old.

Heres to hoping my body can hold out until 36 weeks. If the contractions come back then I go back to the hospital. They will try to get them to stop but I am not sure how much effort will be put into it and if they don’t stop then we will go ahead and have a baby.

Now I get to sit and watch Shane get the baby stuff together, the carseat installed, cook, do the laundry and take care of the kid. Most of you might think, “how nice.” But it’s really not. Having to sit and feel useless is depressing, lonely and the time moves oh.so.slowly. But having a husband who is handling it all so well makes it easier and takes some stress away.

So now what? Besides watch soccer, which has been a lifesaver, and entertain a kid on the couch, anyone have ideas to pass the time?

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Sleepless and Can’t Think Of a Title

~ Girlmom ~ 5 Comments

You know how you feel after a peaceful, long and uninterrupted nights sleep? Well that is NOT how I felt this morning!
My contractions weren’t obeying the meds yesterday, so the doc upped both the nifedipine and magnesium dosage. That did the trick and by midnight I was off the monitors and left alone for some sleep that never came. At 3 am I was put back on the monitors and given more meds and the gift I got was a screaming headache. This went on all night. I think I got about 3 hours of broken sleep.
Every hour that more magnesium pumped through my veins the worse I felt. It makes me feel like I have the flu with a horrible headache, dizziness and a lump in my throat threatening to deliver my latest meal all over the bed. I was also having a hard time reading, everything was blurry and At one point I watched the walls breathing. Timothy Leary called and wants his drugs back.

The nurses seemed concerned with the high dosage I was on and then when I stopped chatting and had an ice pack covering my eyes, they stopped the IV drip and called the doc to have the dose lowered. I swear, within minutes I felt better.
It was perfect timing too because soon Shane and Kaili came to visit. I also had a visit from the doc saying they will rid me of this horrid drug at 5:30. They will monitor me over night to see how I do. Hopefully I can leave soon.
Tonight’s FaceTime with Kaili left us both in tears and Shane told me she asked to go to bed so she could wake up and see me. Are you crying yet, cause I am.
Is it really too much to ask to have a normal pregnancy? My new nurse just asked if I was going to be here until delivery, since my uterine scar and the previa are such a danger…I said I hope not. I want to be home with my loves, even if it’s in bed for the next 4 weeks. But I also don’t want to be put in an emergency situation again. If I go home and start bleeding, that exactly what will happen. I hate this! I guess we will see what the next day has in store.