1. I can’t wait to be pregnant again and twins would be amazing.

2. I want to climb Mt. Everest.

3. I think am going to homeschool.

4. I don’t need to renew my subscription to US weekly.

5. Preschool isn’t necessary.

6. No thanks, I don’t like cupcakes.

7. I think I will go to church today.

8. I love the cold weather.

9. I have too many shoes.

10. I hope they run more political ads next election.

11. I love the movie Twilight!

12. I’m not going to renew my passport, I don’t have any desire to see the world.

13. I’m a vegan.

14. A beach house is a terrible idea.

15. I love getting my period, I wish it came more often.

16. Nah, I don’t want a housekeeper, I love cleaning.

17. Let’s go to Applebee’s.

18. I am going to have a home birth.

19. Let’s see what’s on Fox News.

20. I don’t drink.

Some women, {me now} don’t mind sharing the daunting process of getting her ovaries plumped up with daily injections and then  going through the painful process of having a needle poked into those same ovaries to remove the multiple eggs she made. Other women,{me then} have a very a hard time coming to grips with the fact that she couldn’t make a baby the old-fashioned way and announcing that to friends and family is very hard to do. Infertility is an extremely  stressful thing to go through, more so when miscarriages are involved {that is my opinion}. When you do decided to let people know why you aren’t pregnant yet they want to be supportive but a lot of the time they don’t know what to say. You end up hearing things like ” you two just need to relax, go on vacation. It will happen” or ” maybe it’s just time to give it a rest, God has a plan and he only gives you what he knows you can handle” Oh, so I should just get over my life long dream to be a mother? Suck it up and get over how  sad and depressed that  would make me?- (smack hand on forehead) Awesome advice! Thanks I feel so much better now!!  These things are usually said by people who had sex without a condom and got pregnant without trying. Ugh, I hate those people.

But I was very lucky to become pregnant, stay pregnant and leave the hospital with my sweet child, and the whole process has made me a much stronger person. I don’t know if there is anything harder than accepting infertility. However these days doctors and technology are amazing so that makes it a little easier. I just wish it was easier for women to talk about. It shouldn’t be a shameful thing{even though it sure feels like it}.

Thinking about all this put a vision in my head. My daughter at 9 years old wants to know about the “birds and the bee’s”. I sit her down for the talk, maybe it goes like this” Well dear, it happens in a doctor’s office where daddy performs the “secret handshake” in a fluorescent lit room while mommy lays naked from the waist down, legs spread and another man…” Too much? How about:”When a MasterCard and a doctor love each other very much…” Moms and dads feel free to send your children to me when the time comes. I will be happy to teach them where babies come from!

We now have an Arizona native living with us. Our good friends daughter has left the nest and come out to try life in sunny San Diego. She will be helping me with K and hopefully working to pay for the gas she plans on putting in this car.

Yep, this b*tch got herself a BMW for her first car. This was my dream car in high school, it’s the car Kelly drove on 90210, it was the epitome of awesomeness in the 90’s.

I wanted to introduce you to Kiah as now she will probably be appearing in my blog posts and pictures. I didn’t want you to be all “who is this chick who is always at their house.”  So now you know. I think it’s going to be a culture shock for her, living with an almost 2 year old isn’t glamorous as she has already learned not to leave a hot straightener on the floor where little hands can get to it. K has two little blisters on her fingers now.

I hope she meets some great friends and loves living out here, I mean who wouldn’t? It’s been in the mid 70s this past week and we are six miles from the beach, zoo, SeaWorld and all that good stuff. She has the world at her fingertips, I am a little envious.

After Shane, my dad is the hardest person to shop for. What do you get a man that has everything? Well, this year, he gets cookies. Chewy ginger cookies to be exact, these have ground ginger, fresh ginger and carmalized ginger in them, it’s a triple ginger delight.

If you were to ask me if I would like a cookie, I will only oblige it its peanut butter, chocolate chip, Oreo or maaayyybe an oatmeal, other than that, no thank you. But every time I have a ginger cookie, I am all’ hmmph that’s pretty good” However I never think I like them, it’s like my memory erases after I eat it…anyhow I made my dad these cookies and people, they are GOOD. I think I can now say I do like ginger cookies and I hope my memory doesn’t escape me of this deliciousness.

*recipe adapted from Bon Appetit

CHEWY GINGER COOKIES

Ingredients

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

2 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground nutmeg

1/2 teaspoon kosher salt

1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

3/4 cup packed dark brown sugar

1 cup butter- room temperature

1 large egg

1/2 cup robust molasses

1/2 teaspoons finely grated peeled ginger

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup finely chopped crystallized ginger

1 cup raw sugar

Directions

Preheat to 350°. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or baking sheets.

Whisk flour, ground ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, and pepper in a medium bowl. Using an electric mixer on medium-high speed, beat brown sugar and butter in a large bowl, scraping down sides halfway through beating, until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Reduce mixer speed to low. Add egg, molasses, grated ginger, and vanilla; beat just to blend. Add flour mixture; beat on low speed just to blend. Mix in crystallized ginger (dough will be very soft and sticky).

Place raw sugar in a shallow bowl. Using a tablespoon measure, scoop out dough. Using a second spoon, scoop dough from tablespoon measure into bowl with raw sugar; turn to coat well. Roll into ball. Transfer to prepared baking sheet. Bake cookies, rotating sheets halfway through, until edges are firm and centers appear cracked, 10–12 minutes. Transfer cookies to wire racks and let cool.

Yesterday Kaili and I headed over to Rady Children’s hospital for her speech/language evaluation. What did I learn? Not much more that we already know. Kaili was given a diagnosis of expressive language delay secondary to unknown etiology.  The therapist didn’t think her speech delay has anything to do with her difficult birth given how incredibly smart she is in all other areas. She was truly impressed with Kaili’s cognitive skills and the way she follows directions. It really was neat to sit back and watch Kaili interact with a stranger, carefully listening and following directions. It makes this whole situation a little sweeter. The therapist was impressed with how well she can communicate nov-verbally, although I do regret not teaching her sign-language, but the past is the past and we can only move forward.

Now what? It is recommended that Kaili see an individual speech therapist twice a week for 6 months, progress at that time will determined. Sometimes I think Kaili has the ability to talk but is timid about trying. Shane and I both think it will all click one day but for now we will seek help. Nothing harder than trying to help a frustrated child, that is why early intervention is always best. I have had countless people tell me “why do you want her to talk? Once she starts you are going to wish she never started”. I can tell you that I am really tired of hearing that, and I promise I will never say that.

Today we went back to the Dr. for her growth check. In November her weight and height had plateaued. I was almost positive it was because she had gotten a bad cold back in October and really wiped out her appetite. Two months later she has gained a pound and her height has jumped up quite a bit. I mean she is still itty bitty but the Dr. was happy to see things moving in the right direction.

Operation “fatten up baby” success! Now we wait to hear back about her speech therapy.

I came across this article yesterday. This has never even crossed my mind, but now that I think about it, I can’t get it out of my head. Interesting thought.

Are babies born from the same egg collection considered twins?

I was informed yesterday that our monthly embryo storage went up. Something I am sure we knew was going to happen but when it happens it’s like “what the hell?” When we were told this at the beginning of our journey with IVF we were focusing on the task at hand, getting pregnant. I mean, we didn’t even know if we were  going to have any leftover embryos to store.  How long does one keep  paying to store these babies? For us, whom can’t get pregnant naturally {watch, after I post this I end up pregnant. Ha, bad joke.}, these embryos are our only ticket to having another child but how long do we keep them for? There has to come a time when are done having babies, we aren’t getting any younger.

Shane and I talk a lot about should we or shouldn’t we have another child, well actually that’s not true. He is ready for another, me well you know about me. Why in the hell would I want to go through that shit storm again and it’s so easy with just one. And if he continues to travel for work, I would be doing it alone during the week.

We also bounced around the idea of gender testing. The option is at our fingertips, why not choose? I am sure a lot of you are shaking your head and thinking, “who does that?” Well not these people {points thumbs at chest} If we do decide on #two  we would not do the gender testing so chill out.

So why this post? To tell you we have to pay more in storage fees,not exactly. We have  have come to a decision on whether or not to try for another child but I can not tell you what that decision is…at this time! <—–mean, huh?

Here is a cute video of K dancing. Sorry about my {loud} annoying voice,ugh.

I just want to say thank you to all of you that read about what I have to say here. I know it’s not all edge of your seat, gripping literature but it is what it is, like a little ma and pa shop. The blog hit over 11,000 views yesterday, that’s kind of sweet. If any of you have blogs, put your link in the comments and I would love to follow you.

As you know we have been trying to beef up Kaili per our Dr.’s orders. I have gotten a lot of good advice from friends {thank you} I don’t know if it’s a growth spurt, pure coincidence or that I actually stretched her stomach {<– can that really happen?} with all the smoothies and Carnation good-start breakfasts’ but her appetite has grown. She has actually been asking to eat more often and refusing to let me take her high chair tray away. I got her to eat tuna and eggs, both of which she denied in the past. Good sign people.

I thought she was ready to transition to one nap a day since she was fighting bed time the past few nights. Nope not yet, to my dismay she still wants her dual naps. I did push her bedtime back a little allowing her some playtime before nighttime videos. Yep, she gets to watch a handful of  short learning videos or songs before her bath. So far, that is making a difference and she is going straight down without a peep. Maybe the whole thing was a growth spurt, 18 going on 19 months.

Tomorrow we are heading out to take her Christmas pictures, fingers crossed the weather participates. I may as well get her pictures with Santa out of the way too,  since it’s been December for like…ever. Just for the record, I do not like Thanksgiving arriving so early, screws everything up.